3rd Wave

[tentacruelest]

[Jones is a deep, deep sleeper but he wakes with the sunrise. Each day is a new, hellish experience on the Barge but he scowls and stomps his way through them regardless.

Imagine his surprise when this morning he opens his door - releasing a small flood of his usual seawater, which, thanks to Maintenance, is contained by a make-shift dam - and spots children running about.

Not the handful of children he knows to be part of the Barge. New ones. And smaller people are easier to bully than full-grown ones.

Resolving to go about his day unbothered by the mechanics of the Admiral, Davy instead storms his way to the mess hall, literally using his claw to forcefully swat aside anyone smaller than four feet]


I'll thank whoever remains their true, full size to keep the vast majority of whelps under control. I've a mind to toss them over the side one by one; no ship is in need of this many cabin boys. No navy is.

Mind your brats. Or I will.

Comments

[chlorophylliac]

It sounds like the only person who needs to be kept under control is you.

[tentacruelest]

This whole Barge needs to be kept under control. Trust your admiral to fill his cabins with useless babes.

[jumpeduplittleshit]

This is no navy, anyway. [And you are weird looking. Have a James Bond who has even less self preservation sense.]

What are you?

[tentacruelest]

No, it's not. Even the navy has better ways of treating their prisoners.


I am the stuff of legend and nightmares, boy. And I know your face.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

Do you want the ship to crash?

[tentacruelest]

Is that a trick question, girl?

[surfaceshine]

[Okay wow that sure is a... okay.

There is an absolutely serious, rather smaller version of someone who would do much the same thing as he does now, only with more jackassery, frowning at the camera.]

You don't want to do that.

[tentacruelest]

[Jones in turn looks unimpressed, clacking his claw in the face of the camera]

Don't I, lad?

[princelingofpuzzles]

You don't have a nose.

[Observes a very small, curly-haired Edward Nygma.]

I mean, there's a lot you... don't have... and a lot you do have to compensate for what you don't have, maybe? But it looks like there used to be a nose. Would there be a nasal bone if you peeled off the tentacle stuff? Wait, is that a really elaborate mask? Because it doesn't look like one. I bet if it isn't, you smell really bad. Do you smell bad? Can I touch your face?

[tentacruelest]

Stow your questions, child, I'll have none of your lip today. You'll feel the back of my claw soon enough.

Post and run

[with_my_teacup]

I'd so greatly prefer it if you didn't.

[Riddick's goggles are missing, replaced by Victorian smoked glasses, and his voice has gone... Different. Even his body language, which is fussy and prim instead of feline and sprawling. He purses his lips at Jones.]

We can't help the floods, you know.

[tentacruelest]

And I can't help how my instinct tells me to react to such floods.

What's got you all twisted round, Riddick?

[justplaying]

[You swat at him and you will get claws in your face, Davy. Just saying. He's over four feet but he's still a kid. Also he skulks, which puts him at shorter than his full height.]

Try it. I dare you.

I was wondering why everything smelled like fish.

[tentacruelest]

[He's heard worse insults from better; now that Davy knows that these children are all past recreations of present people, he narrows his eyes, attempting to sort Victor out]

And what do they call you, you overgrown bilge rat?

[deadliestviper]

No you won't. You'll send them to me.

[tentacruelest]

Gladly. In how many pieces?

[impure_tale]

Bonjour!

[tentacruelest]

[Startled out of his complaining, Davy halts mid-rant at Ivy, and throws a bewildered look this child's way. He seems to try to start a sentence a number of times, before giving up and in frustration, tips his hat to the child in question]

[bitofabastard]

[Stark was sitting at a table by the doorway when Davy came plodding along.]

Ugly and smelly. You must be a real hit with the ladies around here, aren't you?

[tentacruelest]

[Davy pauses in his limp to stare, hard and fast, at the grinning child in front of him. Today is clearly not his day.

Eventually, with a tidalwave of effort, he continues on his way]

Stow your bleating, lamb.

[forsaken_queen]

[Guess who.

She frowns and her warning is firm but not overly hostile.]

Don't be picking on the little kids, mister.

[tentacruelest]

[He sees her face and knows it, but can't quite place where or who]

Don't think to tell me what to do, missy.

[fuckvelvet]

How impressive.

[y a w n]

[tentacruelest]

[FLAILING OF ANGRY TENTACLES HERE]

Is it the policy of the entire barge to test me so?!

[spam]

[clockworkflower]

[Lilith is more entertained than intimidated by the angry, posturing squidman. He's like a villain from a drama, and those can always be defeated by a plucky little heroine. Especially one who's found a catapult in one of the dresser drawers in the lush pink room.

She's a bit low on ammunition, just a pocketful of jewel-toned marbles she found in a box on the bus, and she kind of hates to risk losing or chipping one, but the squidman really deserves it. Especially after she's seen him being rude to so many of her new friends.

She finds him in the mess hall, and lets fly at the back of his head from what she hopes is a safe distance.

Then she runs away, giggling.]

[spam]

[tentacruelest]

[And Davy had just slammed himself down to enjoy a nice meal, too. As he's picking up fork and knife, something pings against the back of his head; a sharp, annoying pain. Twisting around in fury, he narrows his eyes, looking around for the culprit]

Who dares. Come out and face me, ye cowards!

video

[little_red_wolf]

...What happened to your face? [It's got tentacles.]

video

[tentacruelest]

What happened to yours?