3rd Wave

[tentacruelest]

[Jones is a deep, deep sleeper but he wakes with the sunrise. Each day is a new, hellish experience on the Barge but he scowls and stomps his way through them regardless.

Imagine his surprise when this morning he opens his door - releasing a small flood of his usual seawater, which, thanks to Maintenance, is contained by a make-shift dam - and spots children running about.

Not the handful of children he knows to be part of the Barge. New ones. And smaller people are easier to bully than full-grown ones.

Resolving to go about his day unbothered by the mechanics of the Admiral, Davy instead storms his way to the mess hall, literally using his claw to forcefully swat aside anyone smaller than four feet]


I'll thank whoever remains their true, full size to keep the vast majority of whelps under control. I've a mind to toss them over the side one by one; no ship is in need of this many cabin boys. No navy is.

Mind your brats. Or I will.

Comments

[chlorophylliac]

It sounds like the only person who needs to be kept under control is you.

[tentacruelest]

This whole Barge needs to be kept under control. Trust your admiral to fill his cabins with useless babes.

[chlorophylliac]

As opposed to useless men, who are evidently here every day.

[tentacruelest]

And useless women, who have nothing better to do than bark at the men.

[chlorophylliac]

[Come at her, bro.]

Hurt a child and you'll find my bite is much worse.

[jumpeduplittleshit]

This is no navy, anyway. [And you are weird looking. Have a James Bond who has even less self preservation sense.]

What are you?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

Do you want the ship to crash?

[surfaceshine]

[Okay wow that sure is a... okay.

There is an absolutely serious, rather smaller version of someone who would do much the same thing as he does now, only with more jackassery, frowning at the camera.]

You don't want to do that.

[tentacruelest]

[Jones in turn looks unimpressed, clacking his claw in the face of the camera]

Don't I, lad?

[tentacruelest]

Is that a trick question, girl?

[tentacruelest]

No, it's not. Even the navy has better ways of treating their prisoners.


I am the stuff of legend and nightmares, boy. And I know your face.

[jumpeduplittleshit]

Bullshit. You look like you lost a fight with an octopus.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

Have you even seen it crash before?

[tentacruelest]

I'm not afraid of a half-naked girl who hasn't the sense she was born with.

[surfaceshine]

No.

You're on the safe list for now, but if you hurt anyone, that's going to change.

[It's not that he's unimpressed. It's that he learned bravado early.]

[chlorophylliac]

Which makes you useless and stupid.

[princelingofpuzzles]

You don't have a nose.

[Observes a very small, curly-haired Edward Nygma.]

I mean, there's a lot you... don't have... and a lot you do have to compensate for what you don't have, maybe? But it looks like there used to be a nose. Would there be a nasal bone if you peeled off the tentacle stuff? Wait, is that a really elaborate mask? Because it doesn't look like one. I bet if it isn't, you smell really bad. Do you smell bad? Can I touch your face?

Post and run

[with_my_teacup]

I'd so greatly prefer it if you didn't.

[Riddick's goggles are missing, replaced by Victorian smoked glasses, and his voice has gone... Different. Even his body language, which is fussy and prim instead of feline and sprawling. He purses his lips at Jones.]

We can't help the floods, you know.

[tentacruelest]

Stow your questions, child, I'll have none of your lip today. You'll feel the back of my claw soon enough.

[tentacruelest]

[Mockingly]

The safe list. I'll fall on my knees to thank you for that, young master.

[tentacruelest]

No, but when it does I hope it's smashed to ribbons.

[tentacruelest]

Or perhaps I won the fight and claimed its likeness for a trophy.

[tentacruelest]

What power do you keep behind your eyes, woman?

[surfaceshine]

My name is Dean. And I'm not kidding.

[tentacruelest]

And I can't help how my instinct tells me to react to such floods.

What's got you all twisted round, Riddick?